A Mother's View

"A Mother's View"

By: Polly Black

Over the last several years I have learned many valuable lessons and suffered much heartache, you see I am one of the many parents in this country that has a child with a disability.  I know it may seem to most that all I talk about are my child's rights and how I want my child to be treated the same as all the other children.  I will not be silenced until I see that today's society has made an effort on its part to treat and respect the ones with special needs.  I know that most people don't understand or even care about the feelings or the well being of the disabled, but the disabled are human and they do have feelings.  You may not be able to hear them or even see them express themselves; but I promise you, if you took a little extra time out of your busy schedules you would find they are the most loving and caring people you will ever meet.

As a parent of a child with special needs, I have experienced a lot of bitterness, anger and hatred.  I have always felt that it unfair that I was chosen to take care of a disabled child, but have somewhat learned to deal with these emotions and have realized that I have one of the most precious children in the world.  I would not trade or ask for anything to be different about my child.  I could never love or care for anything more in my life than I do my angel from Heaven.  The thing that makes me very angry is to sit and listen to the ones who have healthy and normal children complain about their kids.  It almost makes me sick.  Sometimes I wish that, for one day, these parents could live in the shoes of a parent with a child with special needs just see how lucky they really are.  I may not ever experience the joy of watching my child crawl, walk, or even talk, but will just be thankful for the time that I have with her and the joy I have experienced taking care of her.

People in our society today, are very ignorant and cold hearted when it comes to the disabled.  The difference made between dealing with a normal child and a disabled child is very obvious; holidays are really sickening to me.  I sit by and watch my child get the plain toys, and the children who are normal receive the toys that are the most popular and fun to play with.  Do people not realize that a child who may not walk or talk might enjoy and benefit from those toys too?  Children with special needs realize and know whom the ones are who love and care for them.

I often wonder to myself how a world that is supposed to be so caring and full of love can be so cruel.  I sometimes feel like screaming out loud to the whole world that "My Child is Disabled!"  Then maybe everyone would know, and I wouldn't have to deal with all the staring and rude questions about my child.  I am tired of being pushed aside and ignored by the ones that are supposed to care the most, my family.  I will not tolerate, nor will I accept being shunned or shut out from the world anymore.  I have suffered silently for the last several years and will not do it anymore.  You can hurt me or my feelings for I have became immune to the ways of the world, but no one will treat my child as if they are different.  If you do not want to be a part of or share in my child's life, that is your choice.  But one day, I hope and pray that you will look back on the wonderful times that you missed out on, and most of all, that you will realize that you were not a part of the life of one of the most special children God ever put on this earth.  A child that has changed many lives and who has accomplished things that doctors said couldn't be done and who continues to prove the most critical people of this world wrong.

I realize this letter may have been of no importance or value to the ones reading it, but I have no apologies nor do I plan on any regrets for writing this.  I am my child's only advocate and I plan on speaking up loudly so the whole world can hear me.  I may have hurt some people's feelings or made others angry.  But maybe by some chance, I have opened some eyes and have accomplished only one of my many tasks that I have in store for my life long journey of making sure that my child and all the others in this world with special needs are respected and treated properly.

I pray to God every night that he will give my child and me the strength to survive and beat the odds that seem to be against us.  Someday maybe our world will be one big family instead of it being separated into different categories or social cultures.  God created us all equal and He can only hope that we all realize that one of these days.

- Polly Black

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